Longing

Have I always lived with this longing?
Like something constantly tugging, and pulling me away from contentment.
A restlessness I wish I could still.

Like the ocean pulling in and out
It constantly beats on the shore.

But maybe this life is not meant to fill
And yet in you God.
I find a peace.
A rhythm to the movement
A peace within the waves

Dye Me Blue

Dye me blue

Maybe I'll feel the tears
roll down my cheek.....  
"Too wet and salty for my taste"
I say with disdain
Only because I've felt
how they change my soul
with their steady rain
a release of everything stored inside my heart

Don't get drenched
beneath them
Here's a joke
I like to use it as an umbrella...
Keeps me dry
when I start to cry

Dye me blue

Maybe I'll feel the tears
rolling down your cheek
"Take a cracker and some cheese"
I sound insane
Only because I've felt
how it opens a hole
that's seething with pain
maybe something small and good would fill it in a bit


Don't get drowned
beneath it all
Here's a joke
I like to use it as a boat
keeps me afloat
when I've lost all hope

Proverbs 14:13 ESV

"Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief."

Job 8:21 ESV

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting."

Raindrop Poetry

Pour out your soul to me
One drop at a time
Walls dissipate
as the liquid spills over
the ridges and bricks....

A raindrop plops
plunks 
One by one
a little bit more liquid
dissipating the walls
one drop,
a laugh
one drop,
a tear
The wall finally falls.

Unstable Ground

I could rip out my hair

every time I move

to take a step

the ground shifts

I found myself hanging over an abyss

such a narrow miss

I should see the holes, the ruin

that's breaking beneath my feet

unstable ground

I can't even see

Lord guide me!
I'm blind....blind to the day
blind to the bitter
blind to the hope

Your joy is like the cold wind on my face

Thank you for today. 

I don't have anything to say

I don't have anything to say
I wish I did
I don't.
I wish I could
I won't.

Nothing.
Nothing to do, nothing to say
my bag is empty,

It's not that I forgot to pack
I'm not going
on this journey with you

That's why its empty

I wonder what to do now?

Smother it All in Butter

Something old, something new

something wrong, something true

A biting taste, a sarcastic twist

a nice array of brash bits

smothered all in....Quick!

fix!

the line before....

Think up something new

Of course

We can't always know the note that follows

an octave up

that sounded hollow.....

I'd like to smother it all in butter

and eat it like a piece of fresh baked bread

and then it'll be splen-did

So it was

When the Pain Stays

It moved in
lock stock and barrel
(whatever that means)
every suitcase and box
from it's last residence
it's silverware and knives
it's bed and it's cabinets
Pain moved in
it had come to stay
I didn't know how to escape, or lock it away
I went upstairs
and talked to God
I asked him how
He could allow this at all?
Pain grabbed my arm
kicked my shins
cut my side

I tried to hide
but it found me every day
I thought it would be there for good
so I took matters in my hands
pulled out plush comforters
and was swallowed in a pile
of chocolate, ice cream, and fluffy delights
I climbed a mountain,
stayed up all night
binged watched a show
wrapped myself up tight
and stared outside
wondering why and how it'd come
to stick by my side so close and fierce
wrenching my heart when I tried to smile
twisting my arm when I wanted to laugh
I tried to leave it out in the back
dump it all in the garbage can
so once more
when nothing else would do
I trekked up the stairs
to talk with God